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  • Writer's pictureMartin van Zeelandt / TCD

Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz - Lovin' Ain't Greazy (2018)

2017 was the year we all saw a new phenomena come to life: the Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz became an act, and their mission was to fuck us up. For those who are unaware who they are, you will only find out if you buy this magestic album. Anway, this new phenomena took over the world by storm. Even though we were not ready for their greazy mission, we have all embraced them, and made their music our own. We welcomed them, and now they are slowely taking over the world, playing at shitloads of events. But talking about them, let me point out something you might have missed: the GPF album! You might not be a romantic person, we understand, and when you saw the ad on Facebook, you might have thought it was yet another stupid Valentines day present no-one wanted to get. You are wrong!

As you would expect, it’s an album filled with ridicilous anthems, that don’t make any sense. But they are our guilty pleasures. Who never wanted to hear a Madonna song with a ridicilous kick underneath it? We have had that phase back in the 90s, when everything music related was remixed into a Happy Hardcore anthem, and now, 2010s, it’s all gone up a notch. The kicks are rougher, the bass is filthy, and that’s what we all need. And we all want to dance, 24/7. And if you are in a relationship, you want to bang uglies. You want to get some. And this album is for those who are doing it. I’m talking about sex, if you were unaware of what I was implying.

The album comes with 14 DJ friendly anthems, and one DJ mix. And a condom. Well, the GPF boys want us to stay safe, and catch no diseases. Which other act has ever done that? Ever bought an album which came with protection? That shows us all they care. And want us to have sex. Sex is important. And keeping the reproducing elements of your bodies nice and lubricated. And why not hear these fucking wicked anthems coming at you through your speakers, whilst you are coming hard as hell? In a sock or a human being, whatever floats your boat.

Let me show you the tracklist. And you sickos out there, you want to see it. It’s fucking epic!

01. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Lovin’ Ain’t Greazy 02. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Puppet Fuckerz 03. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Greazy Fuckdrum 04. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz feat Caine – Kendal Fuck 05. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – We No Fuck 06. Sjammienators & Ysiss – Boogie Woogie (GPF Remix)  07. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Kicks Out For Harambe 08. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz feat Omkara – Going In Dry 09. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz feat Mind Compressor – Spaghetti Love 10. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Fuck Me Daddy 11. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz feat Toxic Inside – Fuck Breaks 12. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Tardegdy 13. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – We Feel Like A Fuck 14. Malice & Rooler – Aggressive Acts (GPF Remix)  15. Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Lovin’ Ain’t Greazy (Sexy Album Mix) 

Ain’t that one sexy album, eh? Doesn’t this make you horny as hell? You want to bump uglies now, eh? Well, I’m not stopping you, just cum back once you’ve reproduced.

The promotion regarding this album has been insanely good. An album focussed on making love, and also not catching diseases, released around Valentine’s Day. That’s good promotion. To be fair, their masks might turn you off, but let the music guide you towards the bedroom, not their appearance.

Truth be told, I’ve had exes who looked worst.

Anyway, the album. What do you get? As I said before, 14 records and one DJ mix. The records sadly are all too short. but it does throw a punch. This wasn’t what I was expecting. And I don’t even know if I can describe what GPF’s mission is. Or what kind of music they make. It says ‘Hardcore’ on Discogs, but this is something different. It contains bits from every style, from Speedcore/Terror to Hardcore to Hardstyle, and the odd pop reference. And it works, it bloody well works. You might think taking Steps’ ‘Tragedy’ and putting a kick underneath might not work…. well, it doesn’t. But strangely it’s satisfying.

I’ve had this album on for hours in a row, and it didn’t make me feel bad. It made me feel extremely good, and made me want to loose myself. And I started swearing even more. Well, that’s one of their notable things: using a well known ‘fuck’ in each and every track.

Wouldn’t this sound great at someone’s funeral? Starting off with a nice pop bit, and when the beat kicks in unnotified, everyone starts screaming, and having panic attacks. That would be an amazing feeling. Maybe I will put one of these records on my playlist, just to let the people know I will go out with a bang!

Anyway, the album is a success. They came, they saw, and conquered. Their mission is clear, they want to enter your eardrums, and your lady’s underpants. It’s the funniest album of 2018. Nothing can compete. Just look at the amount of plays they’ve got on Soundcloud for these records, it shows the world is ready for the Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz. We might need some lube to get ready for them penetrating us hard, but once it’s in, you will get used to it!

Ps. the album mix is also good, but would you have expected anything else?

Act: Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz & Various Artists Genre/Style: Puzzcore, Hardcore, Rawstyle Release Year: 2018 Album Info: GPF – Lovin’ Ain’t Greazy CDs: 1 (one) Length CD: 01:18:37 Tracks: 15 (fifteen) Label: gpf recordz Product Number: GPFCD001 More Information: Greazy Puzzy Fuckerz – Facebook Fanpage

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