• Martin van Zeelandt / TCD

Kern 8 - The Ghost Of Christmas Arse (2019)


Christmas is nearly happening. And why not end this 'normal' section of the year with a really funny, quirky, and somehow ridicilous mix? I think I have found the perfect weird mix, one I have not come across in a long time. Christmas and Gabber/Breakcore? Does that even exist? It turns out that this is indeed a thing, and in Germany, in Hamburg, they had a party focussed on the Weihnacht, which is Christmas, or Christmas eve? Not sure, my German language knowledge is limited, but it's all festive, so when I found this promo mix for this event I was a bit excited.


I wanted to hear something festive, and boy, did I find just that! But also really perculiar. This was not what I wanted to hear, but secretly had to listen to. And by doing so, I have offended my wife by playing it. She's a huge Christmas fanatic, and when she heard the first song, which is a remix of Wham!'s 'Last Christmas', she was appalled. Not a fan of Gabber in the first place, she was kind of upset. But I stuck two fingers in the air, and raved away. Why not have fun during this festive season? Isn't this what Christmas is about?


I don't know anything about this event, or who made this mix. It was recorded about 9 days ago in Hamburg, and I'm guessing by the way how the title is made, that this mix is made by Kern 8? If you are familiar with this event, please elaborate on it. I would appreciate it.

The tracklist... well, doesn't make any sense. But here you go:






01. X-ecute - Last Xmas

02. Dave Skywalker - Simply Wonderful

03. Smurfy Claus - Jingle Farts

04. Chryzis - XXX-Mess

05. goreshit - tooty fuckin' frooty!

06. Sir Trancelott - Sanctuary Of Love

07. goreshit - ain't ya heard?

08. m1d - Crossfire

09. Oxygenfad - Crime Rave

10. Lord Nord & 909 Junkies - Nothing Wrong With Me

11. captain raveman - pursuit (Hitori Tori Remix)

12. goreshit - ain't ya heard? (Hitori Tori Remix)

13. Fat Frumos feat Yabai korenosuke - WELCOM TO THE DANGEROUS

14. Oxygenfad - Making Out With Girls

15. Oxygenfad - Lisbent - zki henfo023n zjnw (Brain Patterns)


I've not come across anything this weird. You need to listen to it to fully understand what I'm saying. From X-mas Gabber to Speedcore. It does make any sense. It was recorded at 205 BPM, which is already extremely fast, but towards the end it becomes unusually quick. Not even the fastest man alive can dance to those beats and basses. Still enjoyable.


Again, I know nothing about this event, but it looks like it was all done in good fun. If you wanted an unusual Gabber party, this is the one you should have gone to. Sadly it has already happened 3 days ago, but if you went, I'm guessing you are still recovering, if this was the kind of music you would expect to hear at this event. Fuck me, this is unusual.


Quirky doesn't not fully describe this mix. I would urge you, if you want something out of the ordinary to listen to, press play. I still have to listen to it a few times to understand it, but the beginning was alright, but towards the end it becomes a clusterfuck. Don't know what to say.


Have a listen to it yourself. And let me know what you think.







DJ: Kern 8?

Genre/Style: Hardcore, Gabber, Breakcore

Mix Info: The Ghost Of Christmas Arse

Length Mix: 00:50:09

Tracks: 15 (fifteen)

Download/Listen (via Soundcloud): LISTEN HERE

File Size: unknown File Type: unknown Bitspeed: unknown More Information: Hafenklang - Official Website


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